• Egypt’s Supreme Council for the Armed Forces (SCAF)

Egyptians overthrew the President, and then the military took over in the interim. Egypt will be SCAFFY at least until after a new President is appointed.

In effect, a handful of senior military officials who probably come from the same mold as the woman next to me on the plane from Cairo to London will govern Egypt until Mickey Mouse comes into office. They’ll decide what the military should do.

Today, Egyptian bloggers are blogging about SCAF and how incomparably shitty it is.

During the 18 days of protests in Egypt that lead to Hosni Mubarak’s stepping down, the military showed some restraint toward protestors that the police didn’t necessarily.

Even though it was determined for the military that their nappy time was whenever Mubarak unleashed armed thugs on camels and horses onto the protestors, for some reason the notion of the military’s not directly painting the streets with protestor’s blood was perceived as a really nice gesture.

Some people from the military declared that they were people before they were armed sons of bitches ordered to kill in cold blood.

People liked that. It gave them the emotionals. They expressed their emotionals with flowers and chocolates.

So the civilian protestors and the Egyptian military sang about their unity, linked arms and skipped along flower petals on a yellow-brick road into the rainbow.

Until they didn’t.

Since Mubarak left, SCAF’s been all sorts of cuntish.

Allowing for the shooting at unarmed protestors. Proposing daftly preposterous laws that forced people to commit really ironic acts like “protesting against the ban on protesting.”

Or the similarly ironic, making detention the consequence of insulting the military. Now our brains have to cope with questions like “shouldn’t SCAF’s own existence, an insult to the Egyptian military and SCAF itself, result in their own detention?”

When religious sectarian clashes took place as a result of some bullshit rumors about bullshit between bullshit people from bullshit walks of life, the riot police that were there stood around and were like “oh shit, we need the army ’cause we don’t do stuff anymore.”

But as I said before, nappy time. So it took quite some time for the military to arrive at the scene, wipe the crust from their eyes, and croak through their morning breath, “Huh? What’s it? I’m going back to sleep.”

If the military is an asshole, SCAF is the ass itself. The ass machine surrounding and controlling the asshole as it spews cancerous shits.

As shit happens, or fails to happen, SCAF reiterates its legitimacy and does a few volleys of public masturbation. Then it tries civilians in military courts to remind citizens that this military regime was brought to you by the letters S for “shit-induced,” C for “cancer,” A for “of the asshole,” and F for “foreversies.”

SCAF causes ass cancer.

So when Egypt implodes on Friday 27 May, this is one of the reasons for it.

Good day.

*Photo from Chieftain

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